A grief retreat?
Although the focus of this blog post is for betrayed spouses, a grief retreat is helpful for anyone processing grief.
I’ve heard many betrayed spouses say they’ve been told to “just get over it.” When you’ve been betrayed by your partner’s infidelity, that’s not something you just “get over.” It’s a journey.
In “Beyond Betrayal” Lisa Taylor clarifies that “grieving is a necessary precursor to forgiving. Forgiving, as it so happens, is a necessary precursor to our (personal) healing.”
In part two of the three-part series, “Trauma Recovery,” a grief retreat is recommended. Odd to suggest getting away to grieve, but it allows you designated and distraction-free time to grieve your losses.
What to take
- A journal, pen or pencil
- Comfortable clothes
- Soothing, meditative music
- Healthy snacks
- Coloring book, markers or colored pencils (I recommend “The Journal of an Insane Woman” coloring book. Contact me for details.)
Here is a list of helpful questions for you to consider as you begin the grieving part of your journey. Make sure you answer spontaneously, don’t overthink the questions. Write the answers in your journal.
- What would my life, including my spiritual life, be like today if it had not been for my husband’s addiction and the resulting trauma?
- What normal adult life experiences did I get robbed of?
- What life opportunities were stolen from me?
- How would my life be different without his addiction?
- What parts of me have had to be buried or underdeveloped because of the addiction/the trauma?
- What relationships have I lost?
- What life dreams have I given up or put on hold?
- What have I lost spiritually?
- How much trust, faith, or hope has been drained from me by the addiction/trauma?
- How would my relationship with God be different now?
- To what degree have I, for now, lost my ability to feel valued and loved by God?
- How has the addiction/ trauma affected my relationship with prayer, worship or church communities?
- What have the addiction and resulting trauma taken from my life-vision and sense of personal life-purpose?
Make the most of this retreat time by staying off social media, getting plenty of sleep, and focusing on your relationship with God. He has the power and knowledge to bring you through this phase. Trust him, and have grace for yourself.
You can purchase a copy of “Journal of an Insane Woman” from me by sending me a message.