Is Disney to blame, the media, or our own imaginations?
Women tend to have high expectations of their men. When we begin a new relationship, these men are perfect. A friend of mine used to say “everyone is lovely until you really get to know them.” It’s true that we make every effort to present our best in the beginning. One reason the first year of marriage is difficult: we live in reality with our “perfect” man who isn’t so perfect after all. We create a mental list of all the ways they are imperfect. How can so much change? Is it really them, or is it us?
Driving me crazy!
One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband 35 years ago was his drive. He knew where he wanted to go in life, in his career, and I was ready to go along with him. It didn’t take long after our wedding that his drive was driving me crazy! He didn’t seem like he could rest, constantly moving on to the next thing. I loved and hated that at the same time. Did this mean he was no good for me? Was he no longer worthy of my admiration? Had he really changed or was it me?
One of my daughters shared a blog post by Melissa Edgington entitled, “Do You Have a Really Good Man?” where she shoots holes in our preconceived ideals about the perfect man by asking the following questions:
You want to know if you have a REALLY good man? Here’s a test for you. Does he love God? Does he love you? Does he work hard? Does he come home? Does he love your children? If so, then you’ve got a good one.
Melissa encourages readers to not take for granted the small and simple kindnesses our men extend to us. Things like taking care of the pets, kids, cars, bills, and going to work (and coming home) every day.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
We are not perfect women and it bugs me when I feel like I need to be perfect or think my husband might expect perfection from me. Does that stress you out too? So, why would we put this kind of pressure on our husbands? Stuff happens in life: taxes, kids, sickness, car problems, death and loss of friends and loved ones, jobs, and homes.
So much frustration and marital turmoil stem from unrealistic expectations. Ladies, it’s time we sit down and consider the ways our husbands are really good men (and realize we are really good women, too!)